How much do you love your dog?

So today I figured out how to express Dash’s butt glands.

If you aren’t familiar with dog’s bottoms, they have these anal glands that are designed to make their shit smell even worse than it normally would. Think truffle-flavored rotting fish.

These glands sometimes get backed up and the dog starts making the house smell even more than he normally does. The vet charges $25 to express them, so by doing them yourself you feel like you’re winning when you’re actually just kneeling in the shower squeezing your dog’s ass.